sometimes i wonder what ima gonna do
sometimes i look at my dog
his eyes make sense of a world, which is not mine
he seems conflicted
idle hands, idle wants. idle paws.
in my mind of marigold haze, i see truth
sometimes i wonder why i make things hard for people
hard to be loved, difficult to return the favor
my dog turns from the window. he looks up at me.
he’s always looking up at me
must be hard to have to rely on others
i want to build a garden
i want to watch the earth grow up
bright, big bunches of sunshine, and warm tomatoes stretching themselves up
always looking up
sometimes i wonder what ima gonna do
sometimes i take after my mom, most times my dad
he lives within. she plays hide-and-seek.
he forgets his manners
she misplaces her heart
must be hard to second-guess yourself
i would like to have a home, build a nest
a corner to hide away, a perch up high
to look down, to see
they say a dog reads faces, looks for signs to: come forth, stay back, quiet down
they say some people can’t read expressions upon faces, unable to join in
outside from the world, apart
i want to feel what i do not know yet. the urgency presses down upon me.
sometimes i wonder what ima gonna do
sometimes i wonder why i make things hard for people
